How to Handle Hard Situations in a Healthy Way

We all know by now that life comes in waves, it ebbs and it flows, and our circumstances are ever-changing. Every situation we face, favorable or unfavorable, presents us with the opportunity for heightened awareness and self-resilience. It is our REACTION and RESPONSE to our situations that literally has the power to CHANGE the situation itself.

When we find ourselves in a negative position, physically or mentally, we are often told by society to REFRAME our thoughts and turn the negative into a positive. While this seems like a very self-explanatory solution, the implementation of it is usually much easier said than done.

Simply turning a negative event into a positive one is no easy task and, sometimes, it is not always the best way to handle a situation you find yourself in. Reframing the negative is NOT about finding the positive aspects amid an adverse circumstance, in fact, it is quite the opposite.

To clarify, a negative situation is a negative situation, no doubt about it. You often have no control over these situations themselves, but what you do have is the CHOICE not to focus on what that negative is. Instead, when these situations arise, you learn to simply ACKNOWLEDGE and ACCEPT them, as they are. Then, you make the CONSCIOUS decision to focus on what positive things still exist DESPITE the negative.

When you begin to understand that you actually have a choice in the matter, you recognize the POWER you have over your energy. Fundamentally, life is made up of a series of ENERGY EXCHANGES. It is your INTERACTIONS with your highs and lows that determine the state of your being. Each obstacle that you encounter represents a SHIFT in your energy, from how you react to how you move past it. You either lower your energy by spending your time dwelling on the hard stuff, or you take that energy and you raise your VIBRATION instead.

Where your attention goes your energy flows. There is a RIPPLE EFFECT to everything. Everything you think, say, do, feel, choose, believe and be. You either cause it, create it, evoke it, choose it or allow it. Direct your energy accordingly.

The simple wins and little victories that you experience in the course of the day add up to a heck of a lot, and, in general, tend to OUTWEIGH the negative. Express gratitude for and observe all of the good things that surround you and don’t allow the energy of a negative situation to drag you down with it. This doesn’t mean transforming a negative thing into a positive one, but rather, choosing to RECOGNIZE it, finding a way to AFFIRM the space that event takes up, letting it BE and just EXIST in your life, coming to terms with and ACCEPTING it, and deciding to CONCENTRATE on the favorable things that you DO have.

When you allow the negative occurrences to completely take over your energy levels, it bleeds into the lives of those around you. When you fail to respond appropriately to a situation, you not only lower your own energy, but you lower the vibrations of those around you. This, in turn, has a CYCLICAL effect and only further contributes to the negativity you’re experiencing.

Regardless of what you are feeling in any given moment, do NOT try to push your feelings onto others, as positive or negative as they may be. People process things differently, and trying to force them, or yourself, to move past a situation when not ready to do so can backfire. Acceptance is the KEY, not positivity. Positivity is a TOOL for acceptance, but there is a wide array of tools and positivity is not going to be the one for everyone.

You are ALLOWED to have negative feelings and negative thoughts. It is not realistic for someone to be positive ALL of the time, and I am in no way saying that you should be, BUT you cannot treat them as if they are the end of the world. When you find yourself in a challenging circumstance, it is CRUCIAL to understand that, whatever it may be, it is simply a situation that happened, not that your life is negative.

How you handle anything is how you handle everything. More importantly, however, is the ability to recognize that EVERYONE handles situations DIFFERENTLY. As humans, we all think and operate in different ways, and how another person deals with a situation can, and often does, look vastly different from how you handle the same situation.

Merely “looking on the bright side” is NOT going to work for everybody when it comes to overcoming obstacles. If you need to TAKE MORE TIME to acknowledge and accept the negative thing you are experiencing, that is OKAY. Doing so does not make you a negative person or mean that you are handling your problems poorly, instead, it means quite the opposite. It is imperative that you know and understand what does and does not work for you, so that you can give yourself an ADEQUATE amount of time to process and cope with the unfavorable feelings and situations that are bound to come about going forward.

Another significant component of overcoming life’s obstacles requires COMMUNICATION and the ability to be HONEST with your support system about what it is that you are going through. Having an open dialogue with your loved ones and sharing about your feelings or the condition you are in can be a GAME-CHANGER. If you are not in a good headspace and find that you need to remove yourself from a situation, establish boundaries with certain people or withdraw from an activity, then SO BE IT. Whatever you need to do in that moment to get yourself into the right mindset and make it a good day, FOR YOU, is what you should do.

Ignoring your needs can be DETRIMENTAL to your wellbeing. Learning to honor and listen to body while addressing your needs as they arise is EMPOWERING, and builds RESILIENCE. Resilience is your INNER ANCHOR to staying true to your path, EVEN WHEN there are obstacles and challenges. Without it you easily lose faith.

What starts as a negative situation can quickly lead to blaming others, shaming ourselves and complaining about our problems. In order to BREAK THE CYCLE we have to learn how to problem solve for ourselves. The best way to do this is to escape the victim mentality we have with ourselves and find the COURAGE to ask the hard questions.

Questions to ask yourself IN THE MOMENT:

+ How can I best respond to this?

+ How much of this situation am I in control of?

+ What can I learn from this?

+ How can I prevent this or better prepare for this in the future?

Begin taking INTENTIONAL action towards the future that you desire and take ownership over your life. Things turn out best for people who make the best of the way things turn out. If it is out of your control then it deserves FREEDOM from your mind too.

Xx, Leah Kutsch P.S. Keeping IIN Touch