The TRUTH About Self-care

Self-care is NOT the same as self-indulgence. Somewhere along the way we have been sold on the idea that self-care is synonymous with candles, bubble baths, face masks, massages, or other forms of “treating” one’s self. While a little pampering is good, there is a major DISCONNECT between what self-care REALLY is and what self-care has come to be. Don’t get me wrong, these are all great ways to relieve tension, however, they serve more as a GATEWAY to self-care than a form of self-care in and of itself.

Self-care, on a basic level, means to STILL your BODY and MIND enough to LISTEN to your inner self. It is a practice that involves taking an ACTIVE role in preserving and protecting your own health, happiness and well-being. Although it may be hard to do at first, it leaves you feeling NOURISHED, addresses your CORE needs, and builds you up. The key simply lies in CONSISTENCY. Self-indulgence, on the other hand, happens inconsistently and, though it can be fun, it costs you. Often it leaves you feeling DEPLETED, doesn't address your UNDERLYING needs, and is surrounded with language of shame or association with feelings of GUILT.

As a collective, we have forgotten how to SIT with ourselves, in silence, and get in touch with our SOULS. How to set and respect BOUNDARIES, how to be PRESENT, how to be KIND to ourselves and others, how to RECHARGE. How to PROCESS our emotions or past traumas, how to QUIT habits that no longer serve us, how to have FUN, how to PRODUCTIVELY release stress. How to spend more time with FAMILY and loved ones, how to COMMUNICATE and interact with strangers, how to have GRACE and show compassion, how to give and receive FORGIVENESS.

Meaningful acts of self-care involve making MINDFUL changes in PATTERNS of thoughts and behaviors that do NOT contribute to your overall well-being. When you make time for yourself, get sufficient sleep, and incorporate movement or exercise into your day, even if its for 10-15 minutes, you feel more energetic and capable — not only allowing you to SHOW UP for yourself, but also for those who surround you and depend on you. You must LOVE and RESPECT yourself enough to PRIORITIZE your well-being and give yourself PERMISSION to put yourself first. Looking after yourself is an ONGOING practice, but it is the foundation for building RESILIENCE, facing HARDSHIPS and preventing BURNOUT. You have to DECIDE to be HONEST about your wants and needs, and to BELIEVE, whole-heartedly, that you are WORTH the effort.

If you feel like something is not right in your mind, body or spirit, do not DISMISS or ignore that feeling. This IMBALANCE that you are feeling is your body SIGNALING to you to get in touch with your SOUL. Be present with yourself, and if you are not SATISFIED with the results, the answers being revealed to you, or the things you find along the way, then KEEP SEARCHING, keep asking and keep listening. TUNE IN. You are the ONLY one who you can faithfully and consistently depend on. You need you and your people need YOU.

It is not that we don’t know HOW to take care of ourselves, or that we don’t ever ENGAGE in self-care, but rather that we have SACRIFICED it as a result of our external environments. We, too often, "fall off the track,” let it slide to the bottom of our “to-do” list, or put others’ needs ahead of ours. While this is necessary at times, and helping others can be a form of self-care, it is CRITICAL not to lose sight of your own needs, and to be INTENTIONAL with self-care, as it is the CORNERSTONE for health, prosperity and quality of life.

When you commit to self-care you are making a commitment to HONOR and NURTURE yourself, to formulate boundaries and get ACQUAINTED with what matters to you, and to live in a way that is ATTENTIVE and SUPPORTIVE of you and your unique goals.

Self-care can take many forms and your self-care is a LANGUAGE of its own. It is up to you to observe and to listen to the signals, to recognize WHAT your needs are and WHEN they are needed.

The SEVEN types of self-care (and examples of each):

1. EMOTIONAL self-care = actions you take to connect with your emotions and process them in a healthy way (journaling, working with a health coach, utilizing affirmations, practicing meditation, showing gratitude).

2. PHYSICAL self-care = activities you engage in to enhance your physical well-being (being active by going for a bike ride, taking a walk or participating in a fitness class, dancing to your favorite song, cooking a healthy meal, recharging with a nap).

3. MENTAL self-care = anything you do specifically to stimulate your mind and cultivate a healthy psyche (listen to a podcast, try a new hobby, go to a museum, read a book, write a poem).

4. SOCIAL self-care = activities that nurture our relationships with others (phone call to your parents, hosting a game night, going on a date, cuddling your pet, writing a card and mailing it to a loved one or distant friend).

5. SPIRITUAL self-care = activities you engage in with the purpose of connecting with and feeding your soul (engaging in prayer or a worship service, spending time in nature, doing yoga, volunteering for a cause you care about, creating a vision board)

6. PRACTICAL self-care = actions you take to fulfill your core needs and reduce stress (organize your email inbox, tidy-up your living space, meet with a financial advisor, set out your clothes for the week ahead, meal prep).

7. PROFESSIONAL self-care = activities and actions that support feeling balanced and purposeful in you career (set a calendar reminder for your lunch break, schedule time with co-workers after hours, put your phone on do-not-disturb, take courses and attend conferences, work with a mentor, take time off when you need it).

At the end of the day, self-care is about self-preservation. It involves setting aside time for yourself, ESPECIALLY when you feel busy or overwhelmed. Start thinking of self-care as a “home base” or a “safe haven".

Along with self-care comes lifestyle CHANGE, and a greater sense of AWARENESS. Now, more than EVER, we need to find ways to restore our ENERGY and be resilient, so that when the forces of the OUTER world and the INNER world want to pull us in opposite directions, we are able to create NEW patterns that serve US, rather than serving patterns of the past. Self-care is the PATHWAY back to ourselves; it is a way to get GROUNDED with who we truly are, what we believe, and where we direct our energy. It is VITAL that we continuously look to self-care for nourishment. As with life, self-care EBBS and FLOWS, and the type of self-care you may need in any given moment will differ. Keep checking in with yourself, listen to the feelings in your body and respond in ways that address the underlying cause and FULFILL you in a profound way.

Xx,

Leah Kutsch

P.S. Keeping IIN Touch